Never Been Dead
by Ashrie
Summary: Harry is in a coma, Ginny's been expelled from Hogwarts, Draco is dead as well as Hermione's father. Fudge and Dumbldore have been attacked and Herm and Ron are about to go missing.


[A.N: This is my first fanfic here on FanFiction.net, and my first time posting this FanFic. I hope you guys like it. Please don't forget to Read and Review!]  
  
Disclaimer: While I wish it were true, I own NO part of Harry Potter. Merb. I do own this plot though.  
  
Warnings: There IS some language, a bit of violence, and some adult-ish content that really isn't suitable for children under 13 later on in this story. Not in this chapter though. But, I warned you!  
  
Hermione shuddered drastically. she and Ron sat in the common Room by the long dead fire. Like everyone else, sleep wasn't coming easy. There was a big shake-up over the most recent events at the school. Dumbledore had never returned. One of Voldemort's followers had attacked him and Fudge a few nights before school began. Now Minerva McGonagall was running the school.  
  
Ron was still furious. Ginny had just been expelled. in most cases, it'd seem the right thing to do. She HAD murdered Draco. But, Draco was the reason for Harry being in a coma. It was entirely against school rules to push a student out the astronomy tower. Harry hard, though slowed by magic. He'd been in a coma for two months now.  
  
Hermione tried to comfort Ron, but still he fumed and cursed, angry at his younger sister's expulsion.  
  
"Ron, I know you're angry," Hermione said quietly, afraid of him yelling at her. "But. . . but she DID kill Draco. We're lucky she's not in Azkaban."  
  
It was true. Ginny should have wound up in Azkaban. Except, even if she'd been banished there, there wasn't much of it left. Now, it was guarded by Ministry of Magic Guards. all the Dementors were gone. They'd returned to Voldemort.  
  
Hermione took the hand of her best fried, in a sisterly way, and held it, trying to get him to calm down. He was scary, ranting and raving."Please, Ron, just please calm down."  
  
"Much easier to say than you think, Hermione," Ron said, not looking at her.   
  
"C'mon, Ron," Hermione pleaded, tugging his arm. "Let's go. Let's just walk around, something. You can't do anything about it. It's been done. maybe we could visit Harry."  
  
Hermione didn't exactly want to visit Harry. There was something eerie about seeing her long time best friend laying stiff and cold on the bed. A coma. He was in a coma. But, they said, given a month, he'd be back. They just had to make the potion yet. But, Hermione felt sick seeing his body. . . the way it'd been broken. Hermione hated Draco with a passion, but suddenly she began to cry.  
  
Draco was dead. Because of that, Ginny was expelled. And Harry was in a coma.  
  
Hermione wasn't ready for the Dark Times. She wanted to go back to being a kid, to having fun. But there was not going to be any fun at Hogwarts. An evil darkness enveloped the school. Something about One student trying to kill someone, then winding up dead himself scared everyone. Hardly anyone traveled the corridors anymore. Not alone at least.  
  
Hermione sobbed. She leaned up against Ron, the only sign of comfort near her. She hugged him, and leaned against him, sobbing into his shoulders. She wasn't just crying for Draco. She was crying for Ginny, too. For having avenged Harry, and winding up with her fate. And she cried for Harry, for doing absolutely nothing, and then getting he worst fate to live with.  
  
The school was hushed. No one left their Common Rooms. It wasn't against the rules. It just felt safest. Most students felt terrified of the Astronomy Tower. That's's where Harry Potter had fallen from. Draco Malfoy had just pushed Harry out one fo the windows. No one knew why he was still alive. . . those who DID know he was. Many people had been crying. Famous Harry Potter was dead, so they thought. Some students claimed Harry was haunting it, waiting for Draco to come back, not yet knowing he was dead. some one claimed they'd heard Harry calling for help.  
  
Such childish stuff Really. But Hermione couldn't help but feel terrified of what all everyone said.  
  
Ron felt as if all he really did anymore was comfort Hermione. She would burst into tears all of a sudden, thinking about Harry. He would sit with her or walk with her, trying to stop her from crying; reassuring her that everything would be okay in the end. They were working on a potion that would help him and everything would be fine.  
  
But how could he comfort someone when he couldn't quell his own fears. How could he tell her that things would turn out right when everything felt so wrong? He could he stop her crying when he wept if there was no one looking? He couldn't stand to see Harry laying there anymore than she could. But if she wanted something, he was there to give it to her.  
  
"Come on Ron, we really should go do something. Just a walk by the lake?" Hermione asked sweetly, wiping her eyes.  
  
*I need to stop crying. That's all I'm ever doing. Oh, I bet I'm really driving people nuts, aren't I? Oh, if only I weren't such a baby!*  
  
Hermione took Ron's hand and gave it a light tug, wanting to leave the Common Room, where flashes of her and her friends sitting there, having fun. They walked outside quietly and headed for a bench near the lake.   
  
Cho walked outside where she saw Hermione and Ron on a bench by the lake. Go talk she said to herself. She walked over to them.  
  
"Hi, Guys."   
  
Hermione looked up at Cho, and gave her a feeble smile. She wiped her eyes, which were still red, and she took in a deep shuddering breath.  
  
"Er- Hey, Cho," Hermione said, her voice cracking.  
  
When he heard Hermione's voice crack, he gently squeezed her hand for reassurance. Though whether he was reassuring Hermione or himself, he wasn't sure.  
  
"Hello Cho," Ron greeted. "How have you been... er... lately?" he had been about to say since the accident but stopped himself before it came out.  
  
Hermione smiled when Ron squeezed her hand, she was happy to know that he at least cared about what was happening. It was difficult for them both, and she didn't want to make it any harder on Ron. They sat on the bench, and Cho had greeted them. Hermione wanted to be friendly, and happy, probably what Cho wanted, but she couldn't. She just wanted to lay down and sleep. Sleep until this horrifying dream ended. She leaned against Ron a little, her eyes feeling quite heavy.  
  
With Hermione's warmth so near, Ron began to feel tired. Not just normal exhaustion, but just plain tired. Tired of everyone treating him and Hermione like they were so fragile, tired of the stares and whispers in the halls, and tired of these broken conversations with Cho. He knew that it wasn't her fault that she was crying all the time and it wasn't her fault that he felt strange around her after what had happened between her and Harry last year. He knew all that, but he was still tired.  
  
As if sensing Hermione's eyes drooping, he took her hand that had been resting on his arm and said to Cho with every fiber of his being trying to be polite, "We're going to go up to the common room Cho. We're both very tired and... and we really need to rest. We'll see you later," he said as he walked away, leading Hermione upstairs.   
  
Hermione smiled when Ron began to lead her away to the Common Room. Somehow, he wound up knowing what she usually needed or wanted. And she was very grateful then, because when they got to the Common Room, Hermione wiped her eye and said good-bye, and headed for the Girls' Dormitory. she trudged up the stairs, her feet heavy and not wanting to lift. She got to her room, and went to the bed, collapsing, and fell right away to sleep.  
  
*She woke up long after what would have been Transfiguration class, would they have had it. Instead, all of the Gryffindor's huddled around in the Common Room. All classes were canceled for at least one week, until things got round to be settled. And Hermione squealed as she entered the Common Room. THERE WAS HARRY!  
  
"Harry"! she cried, running to him, laughing happily.  
  
Harry didn't move. Instead, he glared at her coldly  
  
"You tried to kill me," he growled.  
  
"I-I didn't," Hermione protested, confused.  
  
Ron and Ginny turned towards her, both glaring coldly.  
  
"Yes you did. We watched you," Ginny said.  
  
"Hermione, everyone knows you did. And everyone hates you for it."  
  
Then, the whole crowd seemed to be turning into  
  
an angry Muggle mob, pulling out stakes and knives, and advancing slowly towards Hermione.*  
  
Hermione woke up, not screaming, but sat, drenched in a cold sweat before she realized, she wanted to cry.  
  
Ron watched silently as Hermione climbed the stairs to the girls' dormitory, fighting back the tears that had been threatening his eyes for so long. He sat on the floor in front of the fire when everyone else had gone upstairs only to stare into the flames and think.  
  
He didn't sleep anymore and he barely ate. All he could really do was sit... and stare... and think... Ron relived the night of Harry's fall over and over again each night, just sitting and staring into the fireplace. He could remember it clearly. Harry had been angry...but Draco had been even more angry. Ron couldn't quite remember what had caused the fight between them... probably something about Draco's father again. Ron wasn't sure, though, for whenever his mind wanted to think about it, it was as if the memory simply wasn't there anymore. It was a strange sensation. Ron closed his eyes and opened them again, the fire reflected in his eyes...  
  
"It was raining," Ron said out loud to himself, remembering out loud as he usually did. Ron closed his eyes and opened them once more:  
  
Harry had been in a rage. Something had happened to make him mad... Something that had to do with someone close to him... or far away... Ron could quite remember. He'd gone up to the Astronomy tower to think; to make sure that he didn't accidentally hurt anyone or say something that he would regret later. Ron couldn't help but feel guilty... like something was his fault. If only he could remember what had made Harry so raving mad that night.  
  
Ron closed his eyes yet again, and said, "If only. Bloody hell, if only!"  
  
"But, it DID happen," said Hermione's voice, standing in the doorway to the Girls' Dormitories, leaning against the frame. She was still in her dress robes, and looked as if she'd just awoke, judging by her bushy mass of hair. She'd walked down while Ron had began muttering to himself, catching the last bits of what he'd said.   
  
She left her door way and slowly walked over to Ron, to see him staring into the fire, looking rather dead and hollow himself. She stopped and stood in front of him for a few moments, and looked at him for a little while, before she walked the rest of the way over t him, and curled up beside him.  
  
"Ron, the-they say that h-he'll come b-back. H-He won't ll-leave us, I'm sure. . ." Hermione said in a shaky whisper. "I. . . I kn-know th-th-that he'll stay, until he's revived, and th-that he won't leave us forev-ever."  
  
She lay her head on his shoulder, and shivered, curling up closer to him.   
  
"I didn't mean for you to hear that," Ron mumbled slightly, a feeling of stupidity enveloping him. Hermione'd had enough problems dealing with this and then, here he was bringing up the past again. Ron felt like slapping himself in the forehead for not making sure that he was alone before he had begun talking to himself again... but that was stupid.  
  
He leaned up next to Hermione and put an arm around her, "I'm so sorry. You've suffered more than any of us have with Harry's.... Harry's..." Ron found that he had lost his voice. He could never finish that sentence and probably never would be able to.  
  
Hermione exhaled deeply. She knew what Ron felt. She knew what he was trying to get through. sHe too, was, after all. But, for some reason, she also knew it was different for him. Different for him to comprhend that he was nearly friendless, thatperhaps his best friend may die. Ron had known Harry for ears. Of course it was hard for him.  
  
Yet, hermione cried for more reasons than her best friend. She earlier, before Harry's fall, recieed a letter from her own mum. Wtih the devastating news that someone killed her father. Someone with magic. Someone powereful enough to not care to kill on a Muggle Street. Hermione buried her face in her hands, wiping away all teaars, trying to stop them up. s/he hadn't yet told Ron. SHe didn't think he'd be able to handle that. Afterall, in only about two days, Ron had quickly matured farther than any of them had in years. But, that didn't mean he was READY for it. So she decided against it, and let him put his arm around her.  
  
It was odd, sitting down in the Common Room, deserted, while everyone else slept in their Dorms. Usually at least Harry would be with them. Hermione supressed another shiver, and continued her thought speech. And it was even weirder, her sittiing here with Ron. Both of them close together. She felt the tiniest faint smile come for a second, before disappearing away quickly.  
  
"Ron, he's not dead. Think. . think of him as on vacation. And . . . and Ginny's there too. On vacation. But, if yo want, it's allright to just go through withknowin Draco's dead," Hermione whispered softly, wanting to lighten Ron up. "You know they don't want to be where they are, so . . "  
  
Hermione turned to look at ron and see his reaction.   
  
Ron felt Hermione shiver and, ever so slightly, he tightened his grip on her, still gently wiping away her tears as they began to fall harder. The word about Harry and Ginny being on vacation stung him like so many bees raining down on him. When she turned around to look at him, he just stared at her silently, wanting to tell her what was on his mind but not wanting to worry her any further than she already was. That was all she needed just now.  
  
He looked at her, staring into those once clear eyes, and he said, "'Mione... I can't think of either one of them as just on vacation. It doesn't work that way and you know it. It doesn't work that way for you, either." He stood up and let go of her, turning away. "But it isn't just them I'm worried about Hermione. It's not just you, either, and God knows I'm so worried about you right now, Hermione," He bent down to hold her hand tightly. "It's..." Ron's voiced choked away. He just couldn't say it; couldn't think about it anymore.  
  
A single tear rolled down his cheek and he froze where he was. Through all of these things -- everything that had happened in the last few weeks -- Ron had not shed a single tear. He had been the stronger one. He had been strong enough for Hermione to turn to him when she felt as she had been feeling lately. And now, he had broken that strength. He had broken the one thing he was sure that he had; his strength to hold Hermione up so that she wouldn't fall. It was gone.  
  
Ron stood up, wordlessly and turned away from her again. He walked up the boys' dormitory stairs and fell onto his bed. His pillow didn't need the support Hermione did right now... so he wept. He cried himself to sleep.  
  
Hermione stood, dumbfounded, where she'd stood. She anted to chase after Ron, to be able to talk to him, but he'd disappeared behind the boys' dormitory door. And she couldn't go up there. Not now. Now with Dean and Neville, and Seamus up there. So, she decided to just stand there, waiting to see if he'd return.  
  
It was obvious he wouldn't. Hermione knew him well enough that he'd leave if he started crying. Which made her sit down. She'd stay all night, proving that she'd wait for him, just if he'd come back. Maybe then, that'd make it to where he wouldn't leave her. Just because he was crying? She felt confused by that. Didn't everyone cry at one point or another.   
  
Or perhaps he couldn't stand being around Hermione while she was like this. Hermione hadn't meant to be all upset. she'd promised herself she wouldn't. It was just that. . . every night these dreams came, where everyone turned against her, after she pushed Harry from the Astronomy Tower, and whenever she went to see him, Harry always died in his a coma. She was just frightened that he'd die. That was all. Frightened.  
  
Hermione slowly curled up into her armchair, cuddling against herself, as the fire had long gone out and she was furious she didn't keep a blanket down here. She eventually found herself falling asleep, and for some reason, wishing that Ron was there with her  
  
Ron lay all night in his bed, thinking about how he had acted in front of Hermione. He'd always been the stronger of the two to support her through all of this. Now that he had broken that strength, who would support Hermione? He hated himself for his reaction and he just wanted to go back down there and make everything right again. So he did.  
  
Ron carefully and quietly walked downstairs, not especially caring about the time, to apologize to Hermione. However, when he found her she was perfectly sound asleep. Ron cursed at himself for not coming down sooner but flinched when he saw her shiver with the cold. A pained look crossed his face as he saw her shudder and he decided to do something about it.  
  
He gently climbed over the couch and scooted himself between it and Hermione. Then he lay himself down and wrapped his arms around her to keep her warm. "Night, 'Mione," he whispered softly in her ear.  
  
Hermione, though sleeping, felt the presence of the warmth from Ron's body against hers, and she fell into a less restless sleep, more peaceful and happy  
  
Hermione awoke the next morning, earlier than anyone else, or so she hoped, being the only one in the common room, until she realized that Ron's body was on the couch with hers, pressed against hers. She had woke with her arm round his neck, and she quickly rolled off the couch, landing with a soft thud. She looked up, and to her relief, saw Ron only stir, but not wake.  
  
Hermione was suddenly confused. She didn't even remember falling asleep in the Common Room, but she KNEW she didn't remember Ron coming downstairs. All the well, it was a very sweet and kind thing of him. She knew he'd liked her for ages now, but she didn't think he'd ever do THAT. She smiled to herself. She liked the new Ron, the suddenly kind and caring, strong Ron. She sat up on her knees, and rested her chin on the couch, watching Ron sleep, before she realized what she was doing  
  
.  
  
*Have I gone mad?* she asked herself. *Have I wound up falling for Ron? He has been here with me the whole time, and I've spent more time with him. But. . . Ron? Have I really. . .?*  
  
Hermione chuckled faintly, but even so, repositioned herself, her arms resting on the couch with her chin on them, smiled at him, and closed her eyes, settling herself for sleep again.   
  
Ron opened his eyes stiffly to see Hermione's gentle face staring into his own... only she wasn't. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was even as if she had fallen asleep just looking at him while he'd been sleeping. He smiled at the thought but frowned at himself.  
  
*What am I doing? This is Hermione!* he silently scolded himself. *But I don't think that I care anymore*, he decided. "I don't care," he concluded out loud. "Just don't care."  
  
And with that, he leaned forward slowly and placed his hand next to her chin as their lips met briefly for one glorious instant before her pulled away to see her staring at him.  
  
Hermione had dozed off for one brief moment, just a little bit, before she heard Ron's voice, puling her from her dreamless sleep. It was better to have dreamless sleep. At least then she didn't have to put up with the nightmares. She knew Cho had nightmares. She could see it in her face, her eyes. . . Hermione felt sorry for Cho, the way she had to put up with it all. If only, if only. . .   
  
But Hermione had no time for if only's now. Because shortly after she was awakened by Ron's voice, she found his lips against hers, just briefly, a mere brushing of his lips against hers. but that didn't matter, because the kiss however small it may have been, was happiness. Sheer, pure bliss, that made Hermione happy. She didn't understand it. Moments before she'd fallen asleep the first time, she was crying and frightened. but, when Ron touched her, she seemed to forget about anything else.  
  
With that thought in mind, she took one look at Ron's face, seeing that she was after all awake, and climbed off the floor, and got back onto the couch with him. She leaned close, with an arm round him, holding him awkwardly, before she placed her head gently, and rather unsteadily on Ron's cheek, and kissed him, longer than he'd kissed her. And she pulled away and smiled very slightly, looking at his response to her bold reaction, before kissing him once more.  
  
Ron wasn't quite sure what was happening, nor was he sure what to do about it. He was so full of confusion right now. Was he only falling for Hermione because he was still in utter shock over what happened to Harry? Were all of the things happening lately messing with his sense of judgement? He broke the connection momentarily to whisper, "Should we be doing this? Is it wrong?"  
  
Hermione knew what Ron was getting at. Perhaps they were using each other for bliss and for care and to have moments of happiness? which made her eyes glaze over. She didn't think that she was only using Ron. Which was a thought that was entirely horrible, to use her best friend in such a way. . . Hermione wiped at her eye, before any tears could come, and se crawled back onto the couch beside Ron, very carefully, now.  
  
"I- I don't know? D'you feel that way?" she asked in a shrill whisper. "Because, I- I don't think I do . . . "  
  
Ron looked away from her and firmly held her shoulders so that she was a few feet away from him. He wanted to look into her eyes when he told her how he felt... It just seemed to hard for him to look at her, now.  
  
"'Mione..." he began. "I... I want this, I really do... It's just. Should we be happy when Harry is at St. Mungo's in... in..." He still could not bring himself to say it, nor was he quite sure that he ever would be. Breaking his strength once more as a single tear rolled down his cheek, he stood up.  
  
Hermione jumped up with him, and very gently wiped away the tear. She looked at him, watched his eyes, all the emotions they were bottling up in there. She understood how he felt. She left her hand on the cheek with the tear she'd wiped away a moment longer.  
  
"Ron. . I don't know if it's right or not, but. . . would Harry want us to mope about the whole time? To just sit and mourn?"  
  
Then, she smiled deviously, a metallic glint in her eyes, and she grabbed both Ron's hands in hers.  
  
"How would you feel about going on another adventure? For Harry's sake?" 


End file.
